The struggle is real

You have a site
You have a site by superheroesxyz on Polyvore
I am a very shy introverted person; what people close to me say when they push me to do better with my site “You have a site get out there and talk to people” and me believing what I read in my horoscopes being a Pisces does not help. People that truly know me personally would not believe I have such a hard time talking to people. It has taken awhile to get to where I am with the meet and greet of people who I don’t know.  Who would believe that striking up a conversation leaves me so tongue tied, that I often am speechless, now those that know me would laugh, and say not Jasmine.

I have been aware of my close to annoying flaw of having a hard time talking to people for some time,  more so recently while I was working on my Mission for the San Diego Comic Con. The Mission was to really put myself and my site out there, however it was a struggle. I am one that waits to be spoken to before speaking to anyone, and find myself having to create a “new me” a brave face to face my fear and be the first to speak. I have had some small victories that I was proud of myself, while out there, but know I have a long way to go.

 In my past, I have had an online magazine, started and maintained a fundraiser for my dad, and volunteered at numerous conventions, so after all of this, speaking to people is still an issue, and I hope one day will be resolved.

I have a hard time with the meet and greet, walking up to people, vendors, cosplayers you name it and introducing myself right then and there. Maybe feeling judged or rejected is an insecurity I will have to overcome. And maybe, carrying a Media Pass, will mask that insecurity, and give me a fearless right to “Speak First” and sharing this insecurity on my site, has allowed me to compare notes with fellow bloggers, and how they reacted until it became a part of what they really enjoy doing like me. Hearing from the fellow bloggers that their beginning was much like what I am experiencing, that I should not feel so stuck up or give off that impression.  “This seems illogical” as Mr. Spock would say, sometimes people are just as nervous to start a conversation, but someone has to. It can lead to great things once it gets rolling, and if it doesn’t then at least I know I tried. I have had so many “What If moments” in the past, now I try to eliminate them and really try to break the ice at my meet and greets.

 I do like talking to people, once I get past the initial fear of the introductions the pieces seem to fall into place. I have made some great acquaintances over time, and it is a great feeling when people ask me if I am Jasmine? Wow, someone knows me, and they spoke first, it is an awesome feeling, knowing, that my site, my blog, and my awkwardness is really teaching me to overcome my fear of speaking to people, and to say the least it does take a lot to get over that hurdle.

I was approved for a media pass for the first time at a comic con this past year for me and my site, I was excited yet nervous at the same time. Due to knowing what having this pass could mean, a great opportunity that I was given and did not want to waste it. I knew that having this pass was really going to push me and get me over whatever fears or insecurities I have. I kept telling myself within all these people here there are some great opportunities and relationships whether they become friendships, work-ships, acquaintances, or merely a meet and greet of someone, what would come about, or even become a dead end.  If I do not take these opportunities I can be missing out and do not want to be asking “what if?”

I am still learning the ques to keep talking or walk away, if there was a handbook available I would be putting it on express delivery. Such as the time I have walked up to artist, they will say “hi how are you” or they would say their prices, and go right back to their work or talking to their table neighbor. I am not sure about others but to me this is a que of I am busy until you buy something. Me being me with the things I struggle take it in and walk away most of the time. I know there are artist that are really busy and also do commission work but there are ones that ease the awkwardness and talk while they work. “I am still drawing but I am listening” and will continue to engage with you.

San Diego Comic Con was really inspiring for me this year, I was really motivated by a fellow content creator Tony at Crazy 4 Comic Con. He was hosting an event for content creators during the convention, a chance to put a face to the name, and network with each other. I did meet fellow content creators and if I did not have the fear of talking to people or putting myself out there, I think it would have a very different outcome. But I did what I could and made progress although, small it was progress.

2015 I did put myself out there more then I usually have and have made progress, I have had small victories and have made some acquaintances and met other people that love things just as much as I do. I am thankful for the people that are patient with me, and those that try to help me out and push me to do better and get out there and talk to people. I want my site to go somewhere and one day I will break through and take my site farther then I could ever imagine. Great things start with small steps and I think I am on the right path thus far.

What are some of the things that you struggle with or had struggled with in being a content creator? What are some of your insecurities if any? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter.

Until next time
Watchtower over and out