I am a very shy introverted person; what people close to me
say when they push me to do better with my site “You have a site get out there
and talk to people” and me believing what I read in my horoscopes being a
Pisces does not help. People that truly know me personally would not believe I
have such a hard time talking to people. It has taken awhile to get to where I
am with the meet and greet of people who I don’t know. Who would believe that striking up a
conversation leaves me so tongue tied, that I often am speechless, now those
that know me would laugh, and say not Jasmine.
I have been aware
of my close to annoying flaw of having a hard time talking to people for some
time,more so recently while I was
working on my Mission for the San Diego Comic Con. The Mission was to really
put myself and my site out there, however it was a struggle. I am one that
waits to be spoken to before speaking to anyone, and find myself having to
create a “new me” a brave face to face my fear and be the first to speak. I have
had some small victories that I was proud of myself, while out there, but know
I have a long way to go.
In my past, I have had an
online magazine, started and maintained a fundraiser for my dad, and volunteered
at numerous conventions, so after all of this, speaking to people is still an
issue, and I hope one day will be resolved.
I have a hard time with the meet and greet, walking up to people,
vendors, cosplayers you name it and introducing myself right then and there. Maybe
feeling judged or rejected is an insecurity I will have to overcome. And maybe,
carrying a Media Pass, will mask that insecurity, and give me a fearless right
to “Speak First” and sharing this insecurity on my site, has allowed me to
compare notes with fellow bloggers, and how they reacted until it became a part
of what they really enjoy doing like me. Hearing from the fellow bloggers that
their beginning was much like what I am experiencing, that I should not feel so
stuck up or give off that impression. “This
seems illogical” as Mr. Spock would say, sometimes people are just as nervous
to start a conversation, but someone has to. It can lead to great things once
it gets rolling, and if it doesn’t then at least I know I tried. I have had so
many “What If moments” in the past, now I try to eliminate them and really try
to break the ice at my meet and greets.
I do like talking to
people, once I get past the initial fear of the introductions the pieces seem
to fall into place. I have made some great acquaintances over time, and it is a
great feeling when people ask me if I am Jasmine? Wow, someone knows me, and
they spoke first, it is an awesome feeling, knowing, that my site, my blog, and
my awkwardness is really teaching me to overcome my fear of speaking to people,
and to say the least it does take a lot to get over that hurdle.
I was approved for a media pass for the first time at a comic con
this past year for me and my site, I was excited yet nervous at the same time.
Due to knowing what having this pass could mean, a great opportunity that I was
given and did not want to waste it. I knew that having this pass was really
going to push me and get me over whatever fears or insecurities I have. I kept
telling myself within all these people here there are some great opportunities
and relationships whether they become friendships, work-ships, acquaintances,
or merely a meet and greet of someone, what would come about, or even become a
dead end. If I do not take these
opportunities I can be missing out and do not want to be asking “what if?”
I am still learning the ques to keep talking or walk away, if
there was a handbook available I would be putting it on express delivery. Such
as the time I have walked up to artist, they will say “hi how are you” or they
would say their prices, and go right back to their work or talking to their
table neighbor. I am not sure about others but to me this is a que of I am busy
until you buy something. Me being me with the things I struggle take it in and
walk away most of the time. I know there are artist that are really busy and
also do commission work but there are ones that ease the awkwardness and talk
while they work. “I am still drawing but I am listening” and will continue to
engage with you.
San Diego Comic Con was really inspiring for me this year, I was
really motivated by a fellow content creator Tony at Crazy 4 Comic Con. He was
hosting an event for content creators during the convention, a chance to put a
face to the name, and network with each other. I did meet fellow content
creators and if I did not have the fear of talking to people or putting myself
out there, I think it would have a very different outcome. But I did what I could
and made progress although, small it was progress.
2015 I did put myself out there more then I usually have and have
made progress, I have had small victories and have made some acquaintances and
met other people that love things just as much as I do. I am thankful for the
people that are patient with me, and those that try to help me out and push me
to do better and get out there and talk to people. I want my site to go
somewhere and one day I will break through and take my site farther then I
could ever imagine. Great things start with small steps and I think I am on the
right path thus far.
What are some of the things that you struggle with or had
struggled with in being a content creator? What are some of your insecurities
if any? Let me know in the comments below or on Twitter.